Reasons Why a Slide Rule (and Paper Pad) is Better Than an X Workstation ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ - A Slide Rule doesn't shut down abruptly when it gets too hot. - One hundred people all using Slide Rules and Paper Pads do not start wailing and screaming due to a single-point failure. - A Slide Rule doesn't smoke whenever the power supply hiccups. - A Slide Rule doesn't care if you smoke, or hiccup. - You can spill coffee on a Slide Rule; you can use a Slide Rule while completely submerged in coffee. - You never get nasty system messages about filling up your entire paper quota with pointless GIF pictures for the root window. - A Slide Rule and Paper Pad fit in a briefcase with space left over for lunch or a change of underwear. - A properly used Slide Rule can perform pipelined *and* parallel operations. (Okay, you need a guru for this.) - You don't get junk mail offering pricey software upgrades that fix current floating point errors while introducing new ones. - A Slide Rule doesn't need scheduled hardware maintenance. - A Paper Pad supports text and graphics images easily, and can be easily upgraded from monochrome to color. - Slide Rules are designed to a standardized, open architecture. - You can hold a Slide Rule at arm's length, to hit the obnoxious person at the next seat over. - A Slide Rule is immune to viruses, worms, and other depredations from hostile adolescents with telephones. - Additional Paper Pads can be integrated into the system seamlessly and without needing to reconfigure everything. - Nobody will make you feel bad by introducing a smaller, faster, cheaper slide rule next month.